It's OK to not be OK Trigger warning, I want to talk a litt..

It's OK to not be OK Trigger warning, I want to talk a little bit about mental health and my current state of mind. Not sexy talk, so if this in any way ruins your perception of me or the experience I'm providing in other posts, please scroll past this one :) I'm starting to accept that I'm not Ok. I've struggled with depression most of my life. On and off, it comes it goes, sometimes triggered by a life event, and sometimes the sadness just comes out of nowhere. For years I've been on different kinds of medication, some worked better than others. A little over a year ago I quit my meds as I did not want to be on them for the rest of my life and my mental health seemed to be ok. For the past few months, I have not been in the best health mentally. I've had ups and downs, the highs were not very high, but the lows were very, very low. From my social media not going well to frustrations in my lifestyle, to my business not performing to having car troubles, appliances breaking, and many other day to day mishaps. There is seemingly a grey cloud over me and every setback or bad experience feels like the world is crumbling around me. My dreams and goals are gradually fading away and are replaced by dread, I dread the future, almost every single day I dread what is ahead of me. I find it hard to enjoy the things I once loved and the things I hate and fear are overwhelming my mind. I am strong but I am tired, my spirit is wounded and I need to find the strength within me to heal it. It is okay to not be okay. Accepting my situation is my first step to getting better. I will need time and strength from every fiber in my being to beat this. But I am confident that I can and that I will. I do not need to hear the reasons I should be happy, I do not need to hear that it will be ok. All I need is patience and a little understanding. Sarah, should you really do what you do if you feel like this? - Yes, my naughty life is not the source of my unhappiness. If anything it's one of the last few things that brings me joy and excitement. The support I have received in the past week on OF has been heart-warming. I want to continue to live my life the way I want to live it. Sarah, why are you sharing your intimate life with the world? - As you may have noticed, venting and screaming at the cloud is my thing. It's a coping mechanism. Putting my thoughts into words and sharing them with the world temporarily takes some of the burdens off my shoulders. And more importantly, I'm doing it for mental health awareness. People struggle with mental health all over the world, and some suffer in silence. It is Okay, to not be okay. Just because we experience good days does not mean we should brush off how we feel on the bad days. When patterns of sadness and irritability emerge, maybe it's time to check on yourself. I'm not ashamed to admit that I need help, that I sometimes need to vent, and that I need to speak to professionals and seek guidance. Thank you all for your support and patience. I'll keep powering through one day at a time. Let's create more good experiences together :) Now let's get back to the naughtiness xx